SILENCE [si·lence]


Have you ever looked up the definition?





  1. not making or accompanied by any sound.

    "the woods were still and silent"

    synonyms:completely quiet, still, hushed, inaudible, noiseless, soundless, peaceful, tranquil, so quiet you could hear a pin drop"the night was silent"

    • (of a person) not speaking.

      "she fell silent for a moment"

      synonyms:speechless, quiet, unspeaking, wordless, voiceless, dumb, mute, taciturn, reticent, uncommunicative, unforthcoming, tight-lipped, close-mouthed, untalkative, tongue-tied, saying nothing, at a loss for words, struck dumb; informalmum"you have the right to remain silent"

    • not expressed aloud.

      "a silent prayer"

      synonyms:unspoken, wordless, unsaid, unstated, undeclared, unexpressed, unmentioned, unpronounced, unvoiced, tacit, implicit, understood, implied, taken for granted"we gave silent thanks that no one else had the right money for the jukebox"

Look, even refers to a woman in this, lol.



Did you ever notice how often we as women respond as “fine”?

Most often times when we are asked how we are, this is our natural response. The second is everything ok? “Yes, fine.”

These are probably the loudest 2 words ever spoken and yet 75% of the time they are over looked. Often by those who do not care to open that door, as if it is a loaded question to pry further. The other time is the person seems fine. 

The wake up and go through the day and fall to sleep smiling, however if you pay close attention- they are silent. They will be more silent then most. They will be observing everything around them and analyzing everything in their head. They will have entire conversations about everything that is wrong amongst themselves. 


What we are really saying…

They are contemplating things larger than they can grasp by themselves. They are thinking about their spouse, their children, their brothers and sisters, the neighbors, their colleagues, their friends. They are worrying about their problems and the last thing they are thinking about is themselves.

The thought of that is too much to bare. It’s selfish and this is something they fear. Being selfish. Selfish of their wants and selfish of their needs, as if it is wrong to be considered. 

They do not understand how imperative it is to nurture themselves first, they will always fall last and then the energy is gone. There is no time nor energy left to invest in themselves. 

This is happening all over the world. We as females are born to give and nurture, this is how God created us. The female movement right now across the world has a lot to do with this right now. It is bigger than this, there are very big issues that needed to be addressed with the discrimination and violations against women that were going unnoticed and ignored. However the ones who are just ranting and raving and not trying to do their part to discuss the real issues I think harbor a lot of these things I have just touched on. They grew so tired of giving and not receiving but without saying as well. We can not expect for those to just know what is going on without speaking up. We need to own that as women. We do not speak up enough sometimes.

I recall as a young girl always watching my mom serve food and yet I cannot recall her eating. I’ve tried and I remember often times she didn’t even sit. By the time everyone was finished it was time to clean up and then by the time that was finished she need to put all the children to bed. The work wasn’t finished there. Now she needed to prepare for the next day. 

If you are a women reading this now, I know you understand. Relate to this. 

The house is quiet and she is all alone now. The dad is sleeping because he needs to get up early for work and the kids are all tucked away in bed. As she sits there folding laundry, her thoughts become louder and louder and she again begins to think about her spouse, her children, her brothers and sisters, the neighbors, her extended family her husbands extended family and their friends.

This is the repeated cycle every single day. Fast forward that ten years. Nothing has changed, she is thin now, her eyes are not as bright as they use to be, her skin is dull and her hair is thin.  She does not glow anymore. She feels unloved and yet grateful to have all the children to take care of and happy to serve her husband but she is tired. 

The entire time she was giving and nurturing her family, it was not received in return. They expected her to do these things because this is what her “job” is. She was happy to do it. However along the way she grew very very silent. 

Most women lose who they are. This is the “death” of most great, glowing beautiful women. We put ourselves last, we become silent. We drift away into this life as a mom or a wife and that is it. We stop living. We stop communicating. We go completely silent. We act as if we are not allowed to feel, we act is if we are not allowed to laugh and be happy. Forget crying. I guarantee there is someone right now crying just reading this because it is completely relatable. We swallow all of our feelings until they consume us. 

If you are reading this and any or all of this is happening, I strongly encourage you to pick today for it to end. Start tomorrow first thing. Wake up early, slowly! No rushing or racing. Pour yourself tea or coffee or do anything one thing for you before everyone wakes up. Sit there alone not doing anything. Then the day after add a little more to that. 

Get our of your routine of serving others before yourself. Their is nothing more beautiful than a nurtured and self loved woman. The energy you will give off can not go unrecognized. Your family will see it, your friends will see it and most importantly, you will see it. 

You will pull yourself from that silence and the next time someone asks you what is wrong, you will say it. You will understand that your feelings matter. Not everything can be perfect, as women we strive for perfection. This is not reality.

Once you realize that, when someone asks you are you ok, you will respond-

“Yes, I am fine!” And mean it. 

There is no way to hide self love, you glow undeniably.

There is no way to hide self love, you glow undeniably.