I personally use to always go back and forth with this. I had believed having expectations was setting you up for disappointment. As I have gotten older and become for comfortable in my own skin I have learned that if I am going to create the life I want to live; I need to have expectations. Not only for myself but for those I choose to have in my life for the most part. That sounds harsh to some I am sure.

What do I mean by this?

I do not mean I should expect my four year old to behave like a perfect angel every single day, no. That’s crazy talk. What I do mean, is that I am going to articulate what I want and expect in all my relationships in life. If you are very clear on what you want and expect naturally those who share the same mind set and want the same things as you will gravitate towards you.

You can not reach a goal with our setting steps to reach that goal. To me this works the same way. I am creating my circle. This is important. It is important to know who you want to spend your time with. It is important the type of people you choose to spend and give your time to. We are creatures of habit. We are generally going to be the top 5 people we spend the most time with so deciding who those people should be is critical in the life we are trying to create.

We can only control so much. If we tend to spend time with those who share our same values and goals the chances of their behavior or actions disappointing us are very low.

So, are we allowed to have expectations? Absolutely! I highly encourage everyone to set expectations for yourself and others, but make sure you articulate what you what and who you are. That does not mean you walking around demanding and saying my way or the highway. Definitely not! Be true to your character, honest. This will attract others attracted to your behavior and the type of person you are and most likely expecting the same things you do. This leaving very little room for disappointment.

Life is going to throw you a few curve balls, you will be disappointed. People’s actions, not people and this should be clear! Make sure you understand the difference, we all make mistakes and no one by any means is perfect. So make sure you understand that it is their actions that have upset you and not the person. It is important to bring up what bothers you so that you can talk and work through the problem. Communication is always the key.